Heilbronn

Well my pretties, I suppose it has been a while. I blame that mostly on the fact that I have just returned from a week visiting my former exchange partner in Heilbronn in the south of Germany, where I didn't have my own computer. Thus, I shall attempt to recap all of the wild and crazy things Alex and I got up to this past week...

Took a train to Heilbronn which lasted about seven hours in total. Not terrible, slept a good bit, and saw the German countryside which is really quite beautiful. I also felt pretty cool crossing the country via train - you know, old school, like one of those things you do when you're in Europe. La dee da. For the record, I spent three weeks in Heilbronn the summer after my junior year as part of an exchange. So it was pretty funny going back and kind of remembering everything, all of the stupid crap we did as sixteen- and seventeen-year-olds. It just deepened my hatred of teenagers, but we'll get to that.

At any rate, the week wasn't actually too loud and rambunctious, but that's fine, it was really cool to get out there and see them again. I also got to speak German for five days straight with pretty much no English - it's probably the first time I've spent an entire day speaking no English. It was pretty challenging, going out with his friends, them all speaking at once, not directly to me. I felt like a dumbass more than once, but I guess that's all part of the learning pro-cess. They also spoke with the accent of a dialect to which I am not accustomed, namely Swäbisch, and that made it more difficult. FOR GERMAN SPEAKERS: My best example of the difference would be that the sentence "Wir sind gestern nicht durch den Park gelaufen" would become "Wir sind geschtern nett durch den Park g'lofe'" AHHHH.

So anyway let me think...Saturday I arrived and we just hung out and watched some stand-up on TV (which I understood and actually found hilarious!). Sunday Alex and I went to his friend's Chinese restaurant and then saw BABYLON A.D. starring the sexy and talented Vin Diesel (in German, of course, which was pretty amusing). Monday we just kind of watched some movies and then went to hang out with his friends at a, get this, American sports bar - they hang out there all the time. I ate a hamburger and fries. Go figure. Oh but it should be duly noted that there was no semblance of American customer service...

Tuesday was the big one. OKTOBERFEST!! WOO WOOOOO!! It was me and Alex and two of his friends, and none of them had ever been. I had no idea what to expect, but I figured if you're in Germany, you have to at least check it out. Well, I must tell you, it's pretty much a German county fair. There are carnival rides, games, sugared almonds, overpriced food. I ate a half a chicken and a big pretzel and bough a souvenir bottle opener (I had to). Of course the big difference, and what Oktoberfest is famous for, are the Bierzelte . They are MASSIVE tents filled to the brim with Bavarians in Lederhosen and tourists from all over the world. Each brewer has a tent, thus you can only get one kind of beer, and the only size you can order is a liter-sized Maß, so you'd better come thirsty. And with a lot of Euros in your pocket because it is mad expensive. I drank but one, as I didn't feel like spending all that money, but I figured I was paying for the experience. Oh and yes, you can rest easy, there are plenty of real-live beer wenches running around. And they can hold that many Maß at once. That's a pretty necessary skill when the old Irish guys behind us ordered TEN OF THEM AT ONCE. No joke. That's almost 90€ worth of beer in one swing.

All in all it was a pretty hilarious experience, one which I see absolutely no need to repeat. If you're ever in Germany around Oktoberfest time, I wouldn't saw don't go, but don't waste more than three hours there.

To top off the week, on the last night we went to Stuttgart to see a soccer game. Not the most exciting game in the world, but we were in the section with all the serious hardcore fans, so that was fun. They had more chants than I could ever think up in a lifetime.

And now I'm back in good ol' Berlin. Even though I've only been here for a month, I was already kind of missing it when I was away. I guess that means I'm getting settled in and it's getting homier, which is good. I'm starting to get all teary eyed and sappy, so I think this is a good place to end. And so as not to disappoint, I will end with the next installment of THINGS GERMAN PEOPLE HATE:

#9: Reigning in their Teenagers
They're seriously out of control. Now I know you, Gentle Reader, already hate teenagers as much as I do - they're loud, obnoxious, and think they're the coolest damn thing in the world and want you to know it - but mix that with legal drinking and you've got yourself a whole new level. If I have to be on one more bus with a group of ten German teenagers on the way to whatever stupid club they're going to tonight, hormones raging and already drunk, I think I might hurt somebody.

#10: Letting Go of the Mullet
Speaking of out of control, this is seriously out of control here in the Germany. They call it a Vokuhila, which is short for "vorne kurze, hinter lang" (front short, back long). I have seen more "cool" young people with mullets in my one month here than I ever needed to see in a lifetime.

...and that's all for now, liebe Leute. I'm hoping to get up some Oktoberfest pictures soon, so keep it here.

The beginning of something beautiful

TUESDAY: As I sit here drinking coffee (I've been doing that more and more) and eating a peanut butter and banana sandwich (hot DAMN I haven't had one of those in forever, and they're so good - you know what I'm talking about, don't lie), I realize that today essentially marks the point that says this is longest amount of continuous time for which I have ever been out of the country - three weeks. Thrice huzzah. To commemorate, I thought I would put to pen something I've been thinking a bit about, namely a list of THINGS GERMAN PEOPLE HATE, through which I hope to illuminate the differences between us "normal" Americans and those "wacky" Germans - in no particular order. I know it might be nicer to go with a Things German People Love list, and they're not always going to necessarily "hate" the things on the list, but a little negativity never hurt anyone so we're just gonna go with this format. It might be a little long, cuz I've been savin' em up, ergo I ask you to bear with me. So now, without further ado, the first installment of...

THINGS GERMAN PEOPLE HATE

#1: Peanut Butter
We've already sort of gone over this one, but they seriously, seriously do not get peanut butter. It's not available in a lot of grocery stores, and when it is, it's expensive and in very small containers. Not only that, but I have had to staunchly defend my, and all God-fearing, flag-waving Americans', love of peanut butter not once, but three times in three weeks. I feel like peanut butter is running for political office and I am trying to sway people to vote for it. I tell them (a) it's full of protein (b) it's delicious (c) you can put it on pretty much anything and that thing will become more delicious (d) it lasts pretty much forever and (e) in less than two minutes you can combine it with jelly on bread and have a pretty rockin' meal. Thus far my sound and righteous arguments have fallen on deaf German ears.

#2: Customer Service
I think I've already got this one pretty much covered.

#3: Fabric Softener
This is more to say that dryers pretty much don't exist here, so everything gets hung out to dry and comes out not-so-soft. I admit to being a big baby in this regard, but for those of your planning on coming to Germany, you have been forewarned.

#4: Restrictions on Dogs
Germans take their dogs freakin EVERYWHERE. It's incredible. They take them on the train, into the grocery store, into the department store, into the bakery. A lot of them don't even have leashes - they're just perfectly well behaved. I guess that's German engineering for you. But seriously, don't tell a German he can't bring a dog into your store, because he will not be a happy camper.


#5: Giving You Enough Space When Talking
You know that weird kid in elementary school who got way to close to your face while talking to you? Well multiply that by like a million and you're in Germany. ...Okay it's not that pervasive, but some of the people here are serious close talkers.


#6: Jaywalking
Jaywalking, while a joke of a law in the States, can be serious here. I've seen people get 20€ fines for it. Some people walk on the wild side, but it's not uncommon for there to be nary a car in sight and have people waiting patiently for the Ampelmännchen to turn from rot to grün.

#7: Spoiled Milk
Who doesn't? But the Germans have taken it a step further by creating super-mega-hardcore pasteurized milk that lasts for over a year unrefrigerated. Kind of scary, but hey, when in Rome.

#8: Hookers Who Don't Wear Fanny Packs
Okay I really just wanted to tell you that all of the working girls in Berlin wear fanny packs. And yes, it is that hilarious. Thought this fashion item was the territory of old tourists in Hawaiian shirts? Think again.

...and thus ends this week's installment of THINGS GERMAN PEOPLE HATE.

To conclude this monstrously long blog, I'll give a quick recap of last Friday to now: Friday was Fidelio at the Berlin Staatsoper (State Opera House), which was very well done with some beautiful performances. Set was breathtaking, costumes left something to be desired. Saturday night I hung out with a friend of a friend from school who lives here (a real live German!) - very cool guy, hopefully we'll chill again soon. Sunday I went to THE COOLEST flea market I've ever been to in my life. It was seriously incredible, and larger than I could see in two hours. I got a messenger bag for 1€, an cool retro duffel bag for 2.50€, and an old-school skateboard with a satellite on the back (you're jealous) for but 5€. I'm obsessed and there will be more to come as far as that goes. Today & Yesterday consisted of cooking chicken and rice and going to a boxing club to check out how they do things - nice folks, hopefully that all works out.

Tomorrow is set for a jazz club, Friday for Karaoke, and Saturday I leave to see my former exchange partner in the south. Stories shall be forthcoming.

So liebe Leute! That's all for now. Thanks for hangin' in there, and much love to all.

P.S. Some weird elf sewed the wrist part of the sleeves of my sweatshirt down, I guess because they were fraying. I sincerely have no idea how it happened.

Oh and as a final note, that club across the street from my apartment building is definitely a Puff.

Putting it all together

WEDNESDAY: I've been spending a lot of time lately "setting things up". I've been researching boxing gyms, emailing the stage combat club, calling up Irish pubs to find sessions. So basically right now I'm doing all the prep work for all of the things I'm going to do in the future, thus I don't have as much time right now to actually do things. However, I will do my best to recap the weekend and beyond.

Saturday night I went to see some twenties-style Dixieland jazz. It was the weirdest venue EVER - more kitsch on the walls than a TGI Friday's, lights blazing, and full of old people - but the music was seriously smokin' and I had a great time. After that I went to this old abandoned building wherein are housed multiple different clubs, in addition to lots of graffiti and art studios (mostly in use during the day). Anna and I ended up forgoing the cool kid clubs with the cool kid music and headed up to the very top floor where they were playing a mix of ska, oldies remixes, rock n roll, and jazz, and we just danced like no one was watching. It was a pretty cool place and I definitely plan on going back.

Sunday, went to a flea market where I bought a couple old jazz and blues records - turns out I have a record player in my room (did I already mention that? whatever), so I'm gonna buy up a lot just for fun. The rest of that day was REST because my God have I been tired lately. Monday was pretty chill, did some drumming in the park by my house, and Tuesday I made a Shepherd's pie. Tonight a couple friends and I went to part of a German film festival, which was very cool, and literally a three minute walk from my house - definitely plan on going back for one of the other days - and then left for the Turkish Quarter (Kreuzberg) for an "International Party" on a boat, sponsored by the University's International Club. It was free, so that was nice, and we met some nice kids (who each spoke at least four languages, I felt like an idiot), but unfortunately what we thought would be an opportunity to speak some German turned out to be an English language party! WTF. The saving grace, and the most hilarious thing I could imagine, was the fact that the live band was a hardcore trad country rockabilly band from Tennessee! Pompadours and all. Apparently there's a good rockabilly scene in Berlin, according to the bassist, so I'm planning on checking that out. We didn't stay long, because country music makes Anna's French head hurt, but all in all it was a good night.

Things are getting better, I think, knock on wood. Been speaking a little more German and feeling a little more confident about it. I'm stressing out about which courses to take at the university, etc, because it's INCREDIBLY confusing, but I'm sure it will all be sorted out soon and I can stop worrying. I also can't wait for things to settle down and get figured out so I can start doing all the things I'm setting up to do. More on that as it comes.

First Round of Photos

Hey Party Peoples, check it out, posted my first round of photos. Whether or not you're on Facebook, you can use the following links to view them - if you are on Facebook, leave some comments and some love. Hope you enjoy.

GERMANY ALBUM 1: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2149924&l=39f90&id=2418535
GERMANY ALBUM 2: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2149921&l=4ac79&id=2418535

Trying to settle in

TUESDAY: So, I guess I've been freaking out a little lately. I suppose that's normal, living in a new country and all that. I just feel like my German should be better than it is, even though it shouldn't really necessarily. And of course I'm not going to befriend twenty Germans right away. But it's still a little tough.

I haven't been feeling great the past couple of days (Mom, relax, I'm fine), just stomach weirdness, probably from stress or the tap water or something or all of it. I've also had trouble adjusting to the fact that SALESPEOPLE ARE NOT NICE. In general, that is. They don't want you to ask them questions and they definitely do not want to escort you to the cereal aisle to show your where the cornflakes are. They would prefer to roll their eyes and point. I had tried two grocery stores up until today - which has been doubly stressful because I have no idea how to actually shop for groceries - and they both kind of sucked. There was an Asian one that I thought the people were nice, but they just didnt really understand me and turned out to be mean; and the one across the street, Netto, is a COMPLETE shithole. They have 0 selection, it looks dirty and unkempt, the people are mean as hell, and its just a horrible, awful, terrible place. And I assumed this is what they were all like, so I flipped out...

However, I just got back from the Kaiser's grocery store, and it was seriously like heaven. It was clean, well-organized, nice lighting, they actually had thing (including peanut butter - which, you all should know, is a rare delicacy here), and one of the people smiled and answered my question and asked if I needed anything else (that's customer service - which, you all should know, is a rare delicacy here)! So basically, Kaiser's is like the Michigan Avenue to Netto's Cabrini Green. For those of you not from Chicago, Cabrini Green is a horrible, dirty ghetto with lots of drugs and violence.

I also found hommus at a little stand outside, which was great, because I later found out that "hummus" in German basically means "fertilizer" - so no wonder I didn't get it when I asked the Asian grocer. And speaking of which - and to top off my mood-improvement for today - I found a package of cheese advertising its extra thickness, but the translation for that was "EXTRA DICK!" ...Insert puerile giggle here.


SATURDAY: I think I've figured out the crux of my problem: whereas German used to be "fun", it is now purely necessary. The novelty of "Huzzah I get to use my language skills!" has worn off, and now it's the big leagues. I imagine it's something like an artist deciding to go professional and then realizing it's not as fun when you have to do it. Or something like that.

In any case, Berlin is still as hoppin' as ever. I've met some cool Americans - we've been going out and having dinner parties and it's all very much like freshman year all over again, herds and all. But really, they're very nice. Wednesday night I went to a poetry reading (ooh la la, how cultured!) at a pub close to me. Didn't understand all of it, but it was a lot of fun and most of it was very funny.

Yesterday I went to the twice-weekly Turkish market with my friend Anna. We've been hanging out a lot - she's super cool, very much into arts and such, and she plays drums, so we're planning on joining or making a drum circle or something of the sort. At any rate, the Turkish market was very cool, a LOT like Morocco (fam, you know what I'm talking about - I even got that great bread we ate all the time!). Big moustachioed men yelling "Lettuce! Lettuce! Cheap cheap cheap! Tasty tasty tasty!" You get the idea. Anna and I got some good deals and then had a lovely time sitting on the river, watching swans and eating figs and goat cheese. That's European. The funny thing was, once we sat down, this Mexican band from Oaxaca started playing Indian-Mexican fusion music on the bank where we were sitting. It was really great stuff, and we ended up talking to them in our collective broken Spanish. We may end up getting together with a couple of them for some drumming, so that's pretty cool. The switching of foreign languages did indeed confuse me a bit, but I definitely want to continue with my Spanish. If I come back with a lisp, you'll know why.

So, liebe Leute, that's more or less all for now. Hopefully the culture shock will subside soon and I can go even more wild and crazy if only to bring you wilder, crazier stories. But don't worry, Mütti - we'll make sure to keep it safe.

Bis dann, Tschüss!