Heilbronn

Well my pretties, I suppose it has been a while. I blame that mostly on the fact that I have just returned from a week visiting my former exchange partner in Heilbronn in the south of Germany, where I didn't have my own computer. Thus, I shall attempt to recap all of the wild and crazy things Alex and I got up to this past week...

Took a train to Heilbronn which lasted about seven hours in total. Not terrible, slept a good bit, and saw the German countryside which is really quite beautiful. I also felt pretty cool crossing the country via train - you know, old school, like one of those things you do when you're in Europe. La dee da. For the record, I spent three weeks in Heilbronn the summer after my junior year as part of an exchange. So it was pretty funny going back and kind of remembering everything, all of the stupid crap we did as sixteen- and seventeen-year-olds. It just deepened my hatred of teenagers, but we'll get to that.

At any rate, the week wasn't actually too loud and rambunctious, but that's fine, it was really cool to get out there and see them again. I also got to speak German for five days straight with pretty much no English - it's probably the first time I've spent an entire day speaking no English. It was pretty challenging, going out with his friends, them all speaking at once, not directly to me. I felt like a dumbass more than once, but I guess that's all part of the learning pro-cess. They also spoke with the accent of a dialect to which I am not accustomed, namely Swäbisch, and that made it more difficult. FOR GERMAN SPEAKERS: My best example of the difference would be that the sentence "Wir sind gestern nicht durch den Park gelaufen" would become "Wir sind geschtern nett durch den Park g'lofe'" AHHHH.

So anyway let me think...Saturday I arrived and we just hung out and watched some stand-up on TV (which I understood and actually found hilarious!). Sunday Alex and I went to his friend's Chinese restaurant and then saw BABYLON A.D. starring the sexy and talented Vin Diesel (in German, of course, which was pretty amusing). Monday we just kind of watched some movies and then went to hang out with his friends at a, get this, American sports bar - they hang out there all the time. I ate a hamburger and fries. Go figure. Oh but it should be duly noted that there was no semblance of American customer service...

Tuesday was the big one. OKTOBERFEST!! WOO WOOOOO!! It was me and Alex and two of his friends, and none of them had ever been. I had no idea what to expect, but I figured if you're in Germany, you have to at least check it out. Well, I must tell you, it's pretty much a German county fair. There are carnival rides, games, sugared almonds, overpriced food. I ate a half a chicken and a big pretzel and bough a souvenir bottle opener (I had to). Of course the big difference, and what Oktoberfest is famous for, are the Bierzelte . They are MASSIVE tents filled to the brim with Bavarians in Lederhosen and tourists from all over the world. Each brewer has a tent, thus you can only get one kind of beer, and the only size you can order is a liter-sized Maß, so you'd better come thirsty. And with a lot of Euros in your pocket because it is mad expensive. I drank but one, as I didn't feel like spending all that money, but I figured I was paying for the experience. Oh and yes, you can rest easy, there are plenty of real-live beer wenches running around. And they can hold that many Maß at once. That's a pretty necessary skill when the old Irish guys behind us ordered TEN OF THEM AT ONCE. No joke. That's almost 90€ worth of beer in one swing.

All in all it was a pretty hilarious experience, one which I see absolutely no need to repeat. If you're ever in Germany around Oktoberfest time, I wouldn't saw don't go, but don't waste more than three hours there.

To top off the week, on the last night we went to Stuttgart to see a soccer game. Not the most exciting game in the world, but we were in the section with all the serious hardcore fans, so that was fun. They had more chants than I could ever think up in a lifetime.

And now I'm back in good ol' Berlin. Even though I've only been here for a month, I was already kind of missing it when I was away. I guess that means I'm getting settled in and it's getting homier, which is good. I'm starting to get all teary eyed and sappy, so I think this is a good place to end. And so as not to disappoint, I will end with the next installment of THINGS GERMAN PEOPLE HATE:

#9: Reigning in their Teenagers
They're seriously out of control. Now I know you, Gentle Reader, already hate teenagers as much as I do - they're loud, obnoxious, and think they're the coolest damn thing in the world and want you to know it - but mix that with legal drinking and you've got yourself a whole new level. If I have to be on one more bus with a group of ten German teenagers on the way to whatever stupid club they're going to tonight, hormones raging and already drunk, I think I might hurt somebody.

#10: Letting Go of the Mullet
Speaking of out of control, this is seriously out of control here in the Germany. They call it a Vokuhila, which is short for "vorne kurze, hinter lang" (front short, back long). I have seen more "cool" young people with mullets in my one month here than I ever needed to see in a lifetime.

...and that's all for now, liebe Leute. I'm hoping to get up some Oktoberfest pictures soon, so keep it here.